By Helena Lehman of the
Pillar of Enoch Ministry (POEM)
An Intimate Moment With God
Many Bible scholars have recently said that the Church in the West has lost much of its holiness because it has lost its fear of Yahweh. At first, my tendency is to agree with this assessment. But, as I thought about this more, I feel that this is an extreme over simplification of the problems underlying the Laodicean Church and also, at times, the Church of Philadelphia today.
This is because the fear of Yahweh is only the BEGINNING of Wisdom, and there is so much more to our relationship with God than that! Eventually, for example, as one draws near to God in study, worship, prayer and supplication, the reverential fear we often can experience should give way to ecstatic awe and wonder. This can only be found when we are beginning to enter into God’s presence. Then, from there, we can eventually develop a oneness with God that transcends all understanding, and we can often enter into that place of peace and connectedness with God without having to engage in worship or prayer first. It is at these times that the Holy Spirit most often will impart wisdom to me and help me to write it down like I am doing right now.
That's where I am at in my walk with God most often now, and that is truly where I am happiest. In fact, I strive to stay there in God’s perfect presence as often as possible so that the evil in this world doesn't depress me too much. It certainly can get me down in my more unguarded moments like yesterday, when the spirit of doubt and uncertainty got to me for awhile and I became fearful. But, thanks to my own and my friend’s prayers, I am again returning to my new normal, which is mostly dwelling in God’s presence.
But, though I’m sure that most believers would agree that it’s great to be in God’s presence continually, it has been very hard on my personal relationships because no one that’s close to me is that close to God. For this reason, they don’t want to listen to me discuss what I spend hours discovering in the Bible or the Star Gospel each day, and they can’t understand why I don’t want to watch most movies or TV shows or play many video games like they do all the time.
As a result, my relationships with the people that I love the most are strained much of the time. Sadly, none of them really understands why I want to stay in God’s presence all of the time because they really don’t know what it means to love God or have a relationship with Him, no matter how many times I try to tell them! Nonetheless, Yahweh God understands and loves my desire and love for Him and His Son and His Word, and He adores my desire to love others by sharing His Word and His Language with them. And to me, in the end, Yahweh’s approval is the only thing that really counts in this world!
All I usually have to do to go to that perfect place in the presence of God these days is start prayerfully pondering His word in the Bible and Star Gospel. In addition, I often find myself in that special place when attempting to answer people's questions about God and His Will while online, which is really what made me desire to write this article in the first place!
Entering God’s presence is an experience that I once only found after extended periods engaged in private prayer and worship. Often now, however, the Holy Spirit’s presence will cover me so deeply while I am simply contemplating the Word of God that I feel connected to God in ways few people understand or have experienced. In fact, my husband is really jealous of it, but only because he has never experienced this type of communion with God himself and so he thinks I’m totally crazy, and he also thinks my belief in the Rapture is even crazier.
So too, at times, my own daughter thinks that I don’t love her. But what she doesn’t seem to understand is that, as much as I do truly love her, I hate her love of the world that I can’t seem to get her to shake completely. That’s why I said that I feel like Lot living in Sodom the other day. It is so painful to be so much in love with two people who have no idea how to love me back or how to love God. It’s the most tragic thing that I have ever experienced, and though I pray for them all the time and try to talk to them and love them, it hasn’t seemed to have done much good.
As I am always seeking to discover how to build up God’s Kingdom and feed His sheep in more powerful ways, please let me know if you understand and have experienced what I am talking about in this article or not. In addition, if you have a heart for intercession, please pray that my loved ones will draw closer to God before it’s too late, for I know that the time is very short and Yahshua is coming soon.
Thank You All, God Bless You and Maranatha!
A Few Awesome Responses From Others:
Susan - Thank you so much Helena for sharing this....I do understand exactly what you are talking about, and I do know it is painful and also somewhat lonely...or better said I suppose, an "alone" lifestyle when you do not have your close family members understand or seemingly desire that type of intimate relationship with the Lord. There is a price to pay, and being misunderstood or thought to be totally crazy according to the world's definition of crazy seems to come with the territory :-) It is impossible to explain to people, they have to come into that spiritual place of intimacy for themselves. I know as a mother, grandmother... and a sister, aunt, best friend, and whatever other "role" in life I may walk in, it is my deepest longing that others, and especially my beloved family have this relationship which is beyond description, and more to be desired than anything this world has to offer. So, I continue in prayer...knowing that the Holy Spirit is the One who woos and draws and places the hunger in each of us..while I celebrate the incredible blessing and privilege of walking in intimacy with the Most High God, and desiring more of Him. We can be in His presence while doing our every day living. Because God has blessed us with family, we do need to cherish and nourish our relationships with them while walking with the Lord....We can't change them....only He can. But we can appreciate, love and enjoy them right at the place they are right now, loving and cherishing those family times....sometimes a good picnic with a lot of laughter and fun can be totally "spiritual" :-). I will continue to lift your loved ones to the Lord, fully trusting Him to draw them close to Him. Hugs and Blessings to you dear Helena, you are an incredible blessing and I appreciate you so much.
Liberty - I do understand, Helena, deeply in fact. It is indeed a very, very lonely road and the further up the holy mountain, the sparser the company of others. Abba is so gracious and loving in allowing many to connect online, for if not for this ...outlet, I would feel as Noah must have (already do, ha! :) But Yahshua did say that he came not to bring peace, but a sword- that a man's enemies would be those of his own household. How it hurts to embrace this sword that weaves itself into a crown of thorns; Abba uses these very trials and heartaches to allow us to fellowship in the sufferings of His dear Son; making us more and more into the resemblance of Him after whom we are being patterned. I have found that since the time He called me into death, that I truly started sharing in the deeper things of His heart. And once I had a taste of that- nothing could compare. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. He has afflicted me with mourning and the fellowship of the sorrow that is on His heart for years, now, and the deeper I go, the more I understand that He only shares His heart with those whom He can trust to help 'carry' the burdens- those who will be in anguish over what He is in anguish over, and who will weep over what grieves Him. Well, this is my lot in life- but He has also given me glimpses of the glory and the joy that lay beyond, and therefore I can lay down this life knowing that, as Jesus, I despise the shame (in this case, the reproach of other's) and carry my cross, for the joy that is set before me. He has shown me that my seeds planted in tears will reap a harvest of joy! HallelYah!! Bless you~
Robin - Helena, i do understand! i am praying! love, peace & comfort to you. Keep writing! I Praise the LORD for a faith that overcomes ... rises up and shuts the mouth of the lying one who tries to send discouragement and doubt! You are a blessing to your family of God & your earthly family too even if they don't know how much yet! I hope this is encouraging to you -- cuz my desire in responding was to encourage and respect you.