Sunday, February 02, 2014


"Never Alone" by Greg Olsen - Click To Enlarge
The title of this short article asks a question that I have been asking ever since I left the Catholic Church when I was 16 and began searching for the truth of the Gospel. Since then, I have felt like both at one time or another. But for a short time - as a new fledgling born-again believer - I did find a few Church homes. In fact, I was baptized in, and attended an Evangelical Church that had great worship music for a dozen years. But that ended when they suddenly went "Purpose Driven", and all their sermons thereafter were about helping the Church and being part of a Church family that was friendly to "outsiders".

That meant no more hard teachings about the need to repent of sin, about the evils of abortion, about the rampant sexual fornication in our world today, about the blight of homosexuality, or the reality of the fact that many people are headed to Hell rather than Heaven. So I eventually felt that I had to leave that church. While I was searching for a new Church home, I bought worship CDs and DVDs filled with great Christian and Messianic worship music, which I still use at home.

For a short time, while my Messianic knowledge base was growing, I found and attended a great Grace-friendly Messianic Synagogue in San Diego, but then I had to move away to the Chicago area after my divorce. So I returned to searching for a Church or Messianic Synagogue home. This went on for a long time, but the search proved elusive.

You see, Yahweh God wants me to be a witness of what I know, and no Pastor or Rabbi I've met and talked to so far wants someone like me with such a radical theology around because I may undermine their lukewarm or outright heretical teachings. So time and time again, I was made to feel unloved and unwelcome, and I eventually stopped going, and stopped searching.

In short, I have learned that I need to lead my own congregation. This is partly why I started reaching out to others through my Pillar of Enoch Ministry web site and blog - that and the desire to write and print my own books and articles, which I soon discovered that no Christian or Secular book or magazine publisher would touch. Sadly, this was for the same reason why I couldn't find a Church home. I was just too radical for any of them to want to take a risk on.

This is how my online ministry developed. So I can partly thank the deplorably backslidden state of the many apostate Protestant Churches and the infection of the Hebrew Roots movement in the Messianic Synagogues near me for helping me to become the online shepherd that I am today. But I sure wish I had enough funds to start my own physical congregation because I truly miss fellowshipping with others in person. For now, however, it's just a dream, and I am content with this online family that I have found and love so much.

Thank you for caring about my ministry, and for following me on Facebook, Twitter, my POEM blog and my ministry web site. I love and appreciate every one of you, and I wish I could meet, worship and pray with all of you in person. Let's hope that this will soon be possible at the Wedding of the Lamb in Heaven. Until then, I pray that our Father God, His Son Yahshua and the Holy Spirit bless you, protect you, comfort you, heal you, and guide you into all truth.

Love and Blessings, 
Helena Lehman of the 
Pillar of Enoch Ministry
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