I knew that something vitally important hinged on whether or not Yahshua was the Son of God. Was He really God Incarnate, and the Savior of the World, or was He just a very gifted and wise man that had come to give less spiritually advanced people a helping hand? That was the question I diligently sought to answer. I spent weeks studying many different writings about Yahshua, and I went back and forth to compare them to what the Scriptures had to say. I wanted to believe in Yahshua as God - but I also didn’t want to be wrong.
In the Spring of 1987, sometime past midnight, I was exhausted and frustrated again after another intense search of the Scriptures. At that moment, I finally decided to humbly ask Yahweh God for help. In my frustration, I called out to God the Father for answers, and I prayed more fervently than I ever had in my life. I got down on my knees, and asked God to show me who Yahshua (whom I still called Jesus) was - because I did not want to mislead people. I thought that to die having misled hundreds, or even millions, of people would be the most horrible sin any person could commit - and I did not want to be guilty of it! I went to bed that night not expecting any great revelations, but I had hope that Yahweh God would somehow guide me to make the right decision.
Well, that night, Yahweh God answered my prayers in a very profound and remarkable way. He came to me in my bedroom while I slept, and I awoke when I felt His presence. Initially when I felt Yahweh God’s Spirit, fear gripped my heart, because I did not understand what I was feeling, only that it was a supernatural presence - and that terrified me! Then I saw Him, Yahshua (Jesus), at the foot of my bed. He looked at me, and smiled as I noted that His body and raiment shined like the Sun, and His eyes looked like fire. His presence was so bright that I was nearly blinded by it! Then, as I looked on in shocked silence and wonder, He showed me His nail-scarred hands, and I heard His voice saying:
“I AM the Way, the Truth, and the Life, no one comes to the Father but through me!”
Still shocked and a bit frightened by what I saw, I wanted to cower under the covers as I exclaimed: “Oh God! I am not ready for this!” This is when the vision ended. I was in shock for a while as I stared silently at the now dark wall at the foot of the bed. I was certain now that I had just seen the Risen Lord! As the realization sank in, I wanted to shout from the rooftops about what had just happened to me. I’d seen Yahweh God’s Son Yahshua, right down to the nail scars in His hands. I also recognized then that what Yahshua had said to me was a direct quote of Yahshua’s own words as found in the Gospel of John, chapter 14, verse 6. How moved I was, and how humbled! I was so excited that I could not just lay there. I felt I had to share this with someone immediately, while it was still fresh in my mind. So I sat up in bed, woke my husband, and tried to tell him what had happened. He wasn’t a Christian though, and I don’t think he ever truly understood how radically my spirit changed that night!
I accepted Yahshua as my Savior on that very night of the vision, about five months before my 30th birthday. Since then I have never doubted who He was, or the fact that He loves me despite my sins. At long last I knew why the Risen Lord had come to me in a dream so many years before, and why He had continually called out to me when I thought I was alone and was afraid. With continued study of the scriptures, I also gradually understood that I had been chosen for adoption into God’s eternal family before I was born!
I was so very grateful! Few people had chosen me as a friend, or as a team-mate. I was a lone wolf for much of my life, and usually very much alone in my feelings. But Yahweh God had deemed me worthy to be a part of something bigger, and so much better than any human club or organization! To this day, I am so very much in awe of this because I am such a terrible sinner even now. Every day, I struggle to turn my spirit over to Yahshua’s Holy Spirit - so that Yahweh God can help me to change what I would otherwise be incapable of changing. As the changes in me come about ever so gently and profoundly, I am continually reminded of the Scripture that says: “He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it.”
Gradually, to my great joy, my desire and ability to effectively witness to others grew stronger. The Holy Spirit was filling me with the fire and light of faith, and I wanted to share my joy and hope with everyone I met. I began to spread the word, telling others what had happened in my life, sharing the message of God’s salvation with others wherever I went. For a time, however, this made me many more enemies than friends, especially in the Middle Eastern Dance community in which I taught and performed regularly. My health also continued to deteriorate, and my childhood asthma returned with a vengeance. Despite all the illnesses and attacks being made upon my character and abilities as a performer and teacher by those who hated my Christianity, however, there were small, joyful victories in my life too...
One Person’s Journey of Faith”
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